the Crossword Soup

My last post was supposed to be about my Christmas vacation – or absence thereof. But I guess I got carried away with other things, as I often do.

I have been so upset about the news lately; it has made it hard to focus on anything else.

Like many among us, I have been upset since last November and went through several stages of grief and despair over the past year. But I have never felt quite this powerless and angry. The deluge of madness and violence coming at us since we entered the new year has made it really, really challenging to be an expatriate, and a European, in the United States. Just when I thought I was finally getting reacclimated to my old life in New York and was reconciling with the notion that my oldest son would go to college in this country, the Venezuela circus and Renée Brown tragedy – did I mention Greenland? – knocked everything down again.

Which somehow brings us back to Christmas break, I guess, since it was mostly spent at home, waiting for said oldest son to complete his college applications. His early decision choice did not work out, and I didn’t expect it to be such a blow. For someone who claimed not to care about U.S. colleges and had a stated preference for sending her progeny to school in Europe, it was strangely painful. I guess it was my son’s first big disappointment as a young adult, and I wasn’t prepared for how hard it would be to experience as a parent.

I got over it quickly, however, and so did my son, thankfully. At least I think he did. He moved on to his other applications without too much drama, is all I can say. Who knows what went on in his head exactly. I have felt awkward around him for a few months now and wouldn’t say he confides in me very much. Is it because he is a boy, or because I wasn’t easy to be around for a while when we moved back to New York last year? Who knows. But the fact is, I have been struggling to find my place in our relationship amid this whole college thing.

Applications have been sent, at least. That is all I can say. But the whole process swallowed our Christmas break and we had to cancel the plans we had for the second week.

The amount of writing – and now videotaping! – that is required for those applications is quite ridiculous, from a French perspective. I mentioned last week what I think of these absurd academic and ethical expectations when the people in charge of this country fail so miserably at the most basic morality tests every day. You’re probably tired of my rants at this point. I know my husband is.    Suffice it to say that while my son had to repeatedly convince various admissions committees of his exceptional debate and music skills and utmost personal character, the entire family had to sit at home and wait for him to be done.           Which, for a few days, was kind of nice. We were going to be huddled inside preparing for Christmas anyway. Then there was Christmas and it felt good to be home and have some time to clean up and put away all the (unnecessary) toys and things that were acquired by all.

The second week, however, proved more challenging.

By then the coziness and charm of long days at home in our PJ’s sipping various hot beverages had worn out.

Also, I had finished the New York Times Super Mega Crossword Puzzle I started during Thanksgiving weekend. It was my major achievement of the holidays; alongside the Beef Wellington I somehow pulled off on Christmas day while picking up random wrapping paper pieces all morning and stopping by my friend’s house to feed her cat.

So, why the hell wasn’t my son done already? What was taking so long?

Then came the aforementioned videos. Videos. We thought he had finished but a few places required personal video statements to be recorded and submitted once the other documents were submitted.  And my son wanted to do well. Of course he did. He wanted to make attention-grabbing, meaningful videos that would convince admissions officers that he was a really, really good guy.

Meanwhile my teenage daughter was still in her bed with her Kindle, on her fourteenth teen romance of the break while her friends were skiing at Gstaad or celebrating Christmas with family in Puglia.

My younger sons were at camp, my husband at work, and I was home cleaning after everyone and cooking every night when I should have been eating fondue on the slopes. Or bad chili and mac and cheese, rather, since we were to go skiing in the United States.

In other words, I was losing my mind.

By New Year’s Eve I was officially done, whether or not my son was.

The hope had been to go away at least for that night. But that was before the videos, I guess. Because we ended up staying home and watching the season 3 finale of The White Lotus instead.

We did leave two days later, however, with the applications 95% done.

And then a miracle happened.

Maybe because that vacation was so short – we just left for one night. Maybe because the previous two weeks had felt so very, very long. Maybe because my mental sanity was at stake.Whatever the reason, I enjoyed these two days more than I have enjoyed any vacation in a long time.

There was ice skating, the children went tubbing. We took a morning walk in the woods with ice cleats on our shoes. The lake was frozen, and we walked deep in the snow. It was so beautiful no one talked for a while. When the silence broke, even the teenagers said it was kind of cool.

There was a robin singing outside our window when we woke up the next day.

At lunch I tried a pumpkin mousse that I had my doubts about but ended up enjoying more than anything I have eaten in a long time. I was so happy to be served lunch and not be cooking it, that my standards may have been lowered a little, I will admit. But to me it was just perfection.

For a few hours, a state of grace was found.

Just when I was dying to send everyone back to school and thought I had forever lost my ability to enjoy being with my family.

And then someone checked their phone and saw that Maduro had been kidnapped by the president of the United States.             It was, indeed, time to go home.

I wish I could share that pumpkin mousse recipe.

I do have the second-best thing, however. It is simple, and quite humble. Not half as fancy as the beef wellington I served after it on Christmas day. It also takes half the time to make and has been a holiday staple in our family for years.

A classic, very French chestnut soup.            

It might not be as easy to make here in the U.S. as it is in France, or Europe, where canned chestnuts are ubiquitous in supermarkets around the holidays. I usually get mine from Zabar’s or Citarella, but this year I couldn’t be bothered and ordered mine from Amazon. I know, I know. I probably shouldn’t even mention it. But I have to say that they were very good. Not the usual French brand I usually get, but probably even better.         So, there you go. All you really need to do is cook some onion, add the chestnuts, a bit of stock and heavy cream. Barely a recipe, and a wonderful Winter treat. Even the seven-year-old had seconds.

The perfect meal to enjoy with your family, or by yourself while reading the newspaper (wait a second, maybe not) or working on your favorite crossword puzzle - if this new hobby of mine is not a sign I am aging, I don’t know what is.        

French Chestnut Soup

Ingredients

For 2-3 servings. If you plan to serve as a light appetizer. Plan more if you serve as a main weeknight dish.

• 250 grams – about 2 cups cooked chestnuts (peeled)

• 1 yellow onion

• 300ml / 1 ¼ cup water

• 100ml / ½ cup heavy cream (or plant—based cream if you want a vegan dish e.g., soy, oat, or cashew cream)

• 1 tsp vegetable bouillon/broth powder (see notes)

• 2 tbsp olive oil

• Salt and pepper to taste

• A few whole chestnuts (for garnish)

  
  

Instructions

1. Peel and finely chop the onion.

2. Heat the olive oil in a large saucepan (ensure it’s big enough to hold the soup). Add the onion and sauté until translucent and tender. Do not let them brown, so keep a close eye on the heat.

3. Add the water mixed with the bouillon powder, then add the chestnuts. Let it cook for a few minutes to heat the chestnuts through and ensure the onions are very soft.

4. Use an immersion blender (stick blender) to mix everything until perfectly smooth and creamy. If the soup is too thick, add a little more water until you reach your desired consistency.

5. Season with salt to your taste and add a pinch of pepper for a little kick.

6. Pour into bowls and garnish with a drizzle of cream and some fresh parsley. For extra texture, you can pan-fry a few whole chestnuts for a couple of minutes to place on top. Croutons make it even better if you have time for them.

7.